After Darkness...LIGHT




Garden of Reflection 9/11 Memorial
Yardley, Pennsylvania

 
It has been a difficult time for me in the last few months.  I’ll spare you most of the details—pretty personal stuff—but it all began, or seemed to have begun in September, when the job I had started six months before suddenly came to an end. The company’s financial partner severed the relationship, and I was among the first to be let go.


So I was on “Square One” again, back to the proverbial drawing board.  But, I really didn’t feel very much like "drawing."  The previous six-month period of job hunting had proved to be a huge challenge and I wasn't ready to dive into the "deep end" again so soon.  And then all sorts of other bad things began to happen in rapid succession. I have to tell you that with everything seemingly piling up on top of me, I began to understand for the first time in my life why some people think about suicide when things feel just so hopeless. (Not to worry; it was only a glimpse of the deep dark side, not a journey there.)

    

[Edvard Munch: The Scream (1893)]

So a lot of bad things were happening, one after the other, and most were things over which I had no control and which had no solution for me. One night, I just began to scream and found that I couldn’t stop until my voice gave out. Then I sat and sobbed until exhaustion took over.

But in the light of morning, I got up, trudged to my home office, and stared at my computer. I don’t know how it got onto my screen during the night, but early that fated morning, my most recent blog post was staring up at me in from my computer screen as I wiped the sleep from my bleary eyes. I was looking at the wonderful face of the late (and great) Randy Pausch, and below it was my favorite of his many original quotations:

”Don't bail; the best pieces of gold are at the bottom of the barrel of crap.”


Well, I can tell you what the inside of that barrel looks like. Really ugly—Seriously ugly! And I’m pretty tired of digging through it to find that elusive bottom.



Not quite the Bottom of the Barrel
Part of  a hoarder's "Workshop" 


I don’t have a new job yet, though I’m on the short list for a very nice one! But there is no such thing as a “Sure Thing” so I also have a “Plan B” ready to activate if things don't work out.

But here’s a new story of Silver Linings that I can share with you, and I hope it brings a smile to your face, a twinkle to your eye, and a big dose of HOPE to your heart.



"Angels" Float
Christmas Parade, Newtown, Pennsylvania 2010

 As I mentioned above, my life has been a calamity lately. We’re trying to prepare our house to go on the market in early Spring. It’s a LOT of work because it’s an old house, and there are lots of little things and some BIG things that need doing before we’re ready. And LOTS of accumulated stuff needs to go through the “decluttering” process, but that’s another long story for another day. Smack dab in the middle of all the work and the marital disagreements and misunderstandings that go along with the process, all of the electrical outlets in a bedroom and bathroom downstairs in the guest area went dead suddenly. No light. No juice, and no circuit breakers thrown. This was a huge potential problem because the house is too old to have a circuit map on file in the township so it was going to be a gigantic challenge to find the source of the problem.




Our House


My husband is a long-retired electrical engineer and I want to tell you that there was no way on God’s Green Earth that he was going to allow an electrician into the house.  He would lie awake every night for hours, planning the next day’s efforts to trace the circuitry to the bad connection that had caused the outage. And every day he would venture into the vast world of electricity (that I know absolutely zilch about) armed with myriad wires, tracers, and testers. All through this effort, my engineer kept telling me that he was “getting closer” to the solution.  But to me the whole episode just reminded me of Inspector Clouseau’s crazy antics. I probably should have had more faith in his abilities, but I was in the midst of a Negative period, remember?

Well, two days ago--almost three weeks into the project-- from the living room (upstairs), I heard him tinkering with his cables and testers in the hallway, near the front door. And then, a shout in his unmistakable Welsh accent, “I think I’ve got it!” And by George, he did have it! I still have no idea how he was able to trace an outage downstairs to a faulty outlet UPstairs, but he had somehow done it.  So he asked me hold his meter and to watch the readings as he probed with the end of his tester in an area of exposed metal in the outlet'  “What’s happening?” he implored. “The numbers are going down, down, down…to zero,” I responded, having no idea what it all meant! “That’s IT!” he practically yelled! “I just have to tighten up this screw and we’ll be done!” (Notice his use of the colloquial “we.”)

As he tightened the screw I stood at the top of the stairs, peering down and only half hoping to see “the light” come on inside the bathroom. And, dear readers, the light DID come on! Of course it did! Had you the slightest bit of doubt?  We both simultaneously broke out in laughter, celebrating in almost utter disbelief that the long siege had finally come to an end.

Enter: "The Light"
[The Dome at Liberty Place, Center City Philadelphia]

You may find this a stretch, and a corny one at that, but…suddenly bright things began to happen:

• My eldest stepson called to say he had just been promoted to a GREAT new position at work. Wow!

• Later in the day, another stepson called. As a mortgage broker, he had seen really tough times ever since the start of the economic downturn, and things were getting pretty desperate for his family. But on this call, he was 'bubbling' with almost palpable exuberance. He had just been hired to do a new job, with a great salary, and the promise of a wonderful future. Double Wow!

• Yesterday a third stepson (there are five in all) phoned to say that he had just made top Salesman (for his company) in the U.S. He had also gone through tough times, so this was Triple Wow!

Well, I don’t know where the next “Wow” is coming from, but once the lights came back on, all sorts of overdue good news began to flow into our lives. I’m hopeful that this is just the beginning.

But I know one thing is true, as Randy Pausch knew all along:

”Don't bail; the best pieces of gold are at the bottom of the barrel of crap.”


I’m ready to see what is waiting around the next corner. Never give up! Not ever!

Around the Next Bend

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I'll end with a message that we all know but sometimes misplace when bad things begin to happen in our lives.  It comes from Jim Miotke, a young executive who, by all accounting has been highly successful in both his personal life and his career. It has to do with the way we make doors open for ourselves.  The poster below was created by Jim for his amazing online class called, "Customer Charisma."

Jim Miotke is CEO of the successful online Photography website, "BetterPhoto.com"

(Unless otherwise stated, all photography is by Michelle Alton)

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One Less Unemployed Worker: THE LONG SIEGE ENDS

HIRED:  What Worked...and What Did NOT

Took about a month's break from posting because life got incredibly busy and complicated by a major job interview, more storm ravages to deal with, a family affair to attend, prepping our house for marketing, chasing down (and still not plugging) an elusive water leak, and just an amazing amount of “other stuff” to deal with.

A New Beginning

The good news from me is that the interview referenced above eventually led to a job offer that I accepted last week. But not before I was confronted at the last moment with the dreaded question: What is the minimum salary that you would accept? It’s a downright insulting question, to be sure. But employers feel very bold about asking it these days. Prepare yourself for it, folks, because you DEFINITELY don’t want to answer it directly. If you give too high a number, you’ve lost the job. If you give too low a number, you either sell yourself short or accept a lower salary than they were prepared to offer. (If you’re completing an online application form that demands an entry, just fill the box with zeros). I was able to successfully avoid quoting a number by saying, “I know that “CompanyName” will be fair, and value the position appropriately. Can you give me a ballpark range to consider?” I was immediately given a range that I felt was acceptable and we agreed to the middle of the range.

The Garden Path

Work starts for me in a few days. Now, the truth is that I wound up in a lower level position than the one from which I was laid off six months ago, with a corresponding lower pay level. So that’s another side of this weird economy. I wonder what the proportion is of people who have ended their unemployment period but who are earning considerably less now than they earned previously. I’m betting that many of the formerly unemployed are in this predicament. I must research that statistic.

That being said, please understand that I am thrilled to have this opportunity, and I believe the company will reward great performance. So all I have to do is BE GREAT! Right?

Shining

I guess one lesson to be learned from this experience is: Network, Network, Network! There will be days that you wake up and just cannot face your computer or another day of looking at Linked-In questions or job boards. Your stomach might even turn at the first sight of the WELCOME screen. If that happens, take a break. But don’t give up.  Don't ever give up.

Never Give Up!

Here’s how it all worked for me: But first I'll tell you what did NOT work: I have not counted the number of online applications that I painstakingly submitted over the months. But there were dozens. I may have had one response altogether. Not a very effective use of time, to say the least. There were a few possibilities (from knowing someone who knew someone) that seemed promising for a while, but which fell apart for reasons like: “We hired someone from within,” or “The job requisition was revoked,” or “We thought we would have an opening by now, but it looks like it will be delayed for several months,” and one most infuriating sudden and abrupt and inexplicable cessation of communications around a position that had seemed made for me!  But if you can get introduced to a hiring manager through a mutual associate it is a GREAT way to at least come under consideration. Take full advantage of any such opportunities.  They can definitely bear fruit for you.

What DID work for me:  Right after the layoff, I had been given a listing -- compiled by a Business Development person who I encountered in my previous job -- of Pharma companies in Central New Jersey and Greater Philadelphia, and contact persons that he had known in his earlier career as a recruiter. So, about two months ago, when I had learned my way around Linked-In, I began cold-contacting people at the listed companies in the hope that there might be an unadvertised opening on which I could capitalize. I used Linked-In People Search to find persons at each company who could possibly be hiring managers in my field of expertise.

Many thanks to Olivier Taupin for the following search tip!

In the People Search field enter, “CompanyName” and (“Vice President” or “Director” or “CEO”) and “ProfessionalFieldName,” for example.

Things Began to Come Together

You’ll have to experiment a little but you’ll find that people who are likely to be relevant hiring managers will eventually pop up in your search results. If you can find a public email address for the person, use it, or if you can send a Linked-In message to that person by virtue of being a connection or belong to a common Linked-In Group, do it that way. In my case, I took advantage of a Linked-In introduction through a common connection. This can work very well, because a common connection can be almost like an instant recommendation!

Now…very important: Take time to write as perfect of an introductory letter as possible, and then carefully customize it for each situation in which you use it. It should not look at all like a form letter when you send it to a person with whom you are hoping to connect professionally.  And don't be afraid to follow up a week or so later.   Several of those that I contacted acknowledged  receipt [That your efforts most often will be ignored is a sad side effect of  the job search in this economy. You must force yourself to keep from being overly discouraged.] of my letter, and a few led to very encouraging dialogues with me that might eventually have led to position possibilities.  During your search, anything that feels positive can buoy you through the rough waters and inject new energy to your search.

Rough Waters

One such contact eventually led to the position that begins next week:  I had sent a detailed note to the company’s CEO via a Linked-In introduction by a mutual associate. It took some time for the CEO to respond and initially the response seemed to be the usual somewhat disappointing : “We don’t have anything now, but why don’t you send me your resume in case something  does turn up.”

And three weeks later she called me. "We don't really have a position, but I think we need someone with your skills and experience."  A month later, after an extended dialog in which I worked very hard to convince my potential boss [Not the CEO] that I had something to offer -- I was hired.

So after six long months of many discouraging disappointments, the story ended quite happily.

Happy Ending

To summarize:

First: You must make a huge effort to  learn the ropes if you are not a natural networker! Most of us are not, and feel uncomfortable asking for help.  Even if you have to force yourself, do it.  Soon it will become easier as you discover how gracious your associates will be.

Second: Be prepared for ups, downs, and discouraging experiences. They will happen -- and they WILL also end eventually. 

Third (from previous posts):  Be willing  -- and offer to help others. In my case, I was so touched by the number of people that sincerely wanted to help me, that I vowed to make it part of my business to offer help to as many others as I could. And I intend to stay available even though I now have a new position.

A Mother's Help

Fourth (from previous posts):  Relationships that you have with recruiters may be very different than those that you remember from your working days. If they have a particular search they are running, and if you fit the bill perfectly, they will work to get you hired for that position. If not…you may possibly never hear from them again. And worse -- they may not answer your phone calls or emails. It is a different world these days.

Fifth:  Take advantage of your connections to provide introductions to potential hiring managers. The majority of  jobs do not get posted on job boards. But an astute hiring manager will recognize a good hire when they see one! Once introduced, you still have to do the work to seal the deal. You CAN do it!

Hope, Arkansas

Since this saga of my unemployment has come to an end, I’m going to be shifting the topic of this blog going forward. I’m now into my third month of involvement with a Transformational Coach, and learning things about myself that I never imagined. The goal is to find the “core” of what has always prevented me from traveling down the path to personal happiness. We have begun to “peel the onion” –  a process that is supposed to, in the end, free up the potential that I’ve only touched tangentially up to now. I’m working out an approach to sharing this very personal experience without exposing too much of my “soul.” It’s a fascinating experience and under the guidance of a special coach could open doors to fulfillment I never dared to imagine. Could be an interesting journey if you care to tag along for the ride.  Could maybe even change YOUR life!

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   All photography by Michelle Alton

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CYCLING: Pedaling Through the Ups and Downs of the Job Hunt

Last month my postings on this blog were very upbeat  -- so much so, that I was being told how inspirational they were for fellow unemployed job searchers. The “Silver Lining” piece received a fair amount of attention (An article about this blog and me, "PharmaView: Via the Blog, a Pharma Star is Reborn"? appeared in Pharmaceutical Manufacturing Magazine) and that buoyed me for the plunge into each day’s “Hunt” activity with new energy and hope. Great!  That is what we MUST do to keep ourselves fresh. Most importantly, we MUST keep doing what it takes to preserve the healthy state of our psyches.


So, after 18 weeks of devotion to this mission, I took a week off and flew to Arkansas for a few days of photo shooting. When all is said and done, you see, it is exercising my passion for photography that keeps me sane. I had a fabulous time.

(Click on photos to enlarge; Click again to reduce to original size)

Cedar Falls Overlook

Petit Jean State Park, Arkansas

BUT…yes there’s a big “But” coming (not mine this time…giggle)!

Angus Butt

The night before flying home, I awoke at about 2 a.m. in a raging panic. My heart rate rapid  and irregular, I was filled with a feeling of deep dread. The facts were: I still had no job and no hot prospects for one, and the severance period was rapidly coming to its end. The household expenses were high and the house was still far away from being ready for the market. And two of the three calls I received while in Arkansas had been to notify me of positions for which I had already applied. The third call was one that I had been expecting to turn into an opportunity. But alas, the caller wanted to offer advice on tools to aid the search. A sincere and helpful expert he was, but his advice, frankly, felt like just another let-down at that point.

All the flights were on time and without incident, and I arrived in Philadelphia on the night of the 24th, quickly found my husband (who is prone to losing me in airports) waiting in the baggage area, and my luggage was soon popping up on the carousel! ALL GOOD!

The next day, I lumbered back behind my desk, and attempted to nudge myself slowly but directly into the pace and high spirits I had attained only weeks before. There had been two hot prospects for great positions. One had been “simmering” since October, and the other had materialized a couple of weeks before my vacation. But now, neither of the hiring managers was returning my calls or emails. I had no idea what, if anything, had happened  and still I do not. That night I went to bed exhausted and maximally down-hearted.

If you’re thinking this is leading to “Good News,” I’m sorry to say that there was more—way more BAD NEWS to be dealt with!

Tuesday morning, after showering, I went into my office and was shocked to find my computer DEAD, displaying the familiar and dreaded black screen with scary white words on it.  By midday, a Dell technician had determined that the only feasible solution entailed completely wiping out the hard drive and starting over from scratch, with a clean slate. It took most of the day and part of the evening with Dell to reload the Operating System and then install all of the original software from the CDs that had been bundled with the computer. No glitches.

At about 8 pm, drained to my last drop, I hooked up my one terrabyte external drive and began the process of restoring all the documents, photo editing software, and a year’s worth of photographs that I had backed up studiously each night since purchasing the laptop.  But WAIT…the files were NOT TO BE FOUND ON THE BACKUP DRIVE!    How could it be?  I was devastated.

What next ensued was an emotional breakdown of huge proportion.  The normally calm, collected, and resourceful  and hopeful me was hanging on my last nerve…or past it.

I spent the night hyperventilating, whimpering softly, and yes, praying for a swift life-ending blow.  I was through -- finished, and losing ground rapidly. Honestly, I could see nothing positive at all in life that night. Nothing at all.  My good fotune was that there were no 200-foot-high canyon ledges in my bedroom!  My poor husband was planning the emergency room trip for the next day. I’m SERious!

Ledge at the Palisades

Petit Jean State Park, Arkansas

But somehow I pulled myself together and, Wednesday afternoon was able to get in touch with a Data Recovery Specialist from Seagate. He connected remotely to my computer, and within several minutes of my plugging the external hard drive into a USB port, he had uncovered all of the missing files. Too easy!! And there was no charge.

While all of my other issues were still issues, the condition that had nearly sent me catapulting out a twelve-story window (good thing there wasn’t one handy), had been resolved. It took me until Friday night, however, to restore all the files, and to re-calibrate the monitor (after another session with Dell because the video adapter turned out to be broken). My mood began to lift again. But alas…I had lost FOUR MORE days of job hunting…and there had been no activity on Linked-In.  And no phone calls from recruiters.  Still, I was buoyed, and over the weekend I planned to get some very needed rest and prepare to start in again on Monday.

And now there WAS some HAPPY news: The horrid ordeal had taken FIVE POUNDS OFF my rotund little body! YIPPEE!

Utter Exuberance!

(Final dance recital of my Step Granddaughter--second high kicker from the left)

BRING ON MONDAY!

At 10 a.m. I had my first two-hour session with a remarkable Transformational Coach that I had been conversing with before the trip. What an incredible woman! I won’t go into detail here, but to cut to the chase: HOPE IS REFRESHED!

So the takeaway message is this: The HUNT is a PROCESS! Expect it to move in cycles of highs and lows, ins and outs, ups and downs. This morning, a photographer friend of mine posted the following excerpt from an anonymous poet. It’s worth repeating here: Never Quit!

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don't give up though the pace seems slow--

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,

It seems to a faint and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up,

When he might have captured the victor's cup,

And he learned too late when the night slipped down,

How close he had been to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far,

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

(--- to be continued)

-- All photographs ("except Never Give Up") by Michelle Alton

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